After reading Skye’s post regarding mentoring, I’ve gotten to thinking about a few things. Her post was very true- this community isn’t as close as it used to be and it seems that many sites are dropping like flies before we even know who we’re talking to.
There are several areas I would like to discuss about the changes in the social community over the years. I would like to honestly admit that I feed these flames of separation that occur in the community.
As the owner or Relentless Designs I feel like I am very off in my own niche, a little separated and disconnected to the rest of the designers. We are all busy people, yes, but I can at least make more of an effort to contact my friends and get to know new people. I always felt like, since my earliest design experience, people have shoved me out of their communties because I was so different, but day by day the terrain of design changes and people are accepting the newly-created diversity. This can no longer be an excuse for me.
In many ways, I feel like designing is a lot like high school. A lot of the same sites stick together- I am not going to lie, I do this exact thing. Sites seem to be in their own little cliques and many are unwilling to leave their element. Though I’m guilty of the first offense, I am not guilty of the second. I spend hours online looking for new design sites, looking for something interesting, and it’s fun for me. Sometimes, the sites are not as accepting as i initially thought, and other times other web designers are simply too dang busy to talk.
In the past, a lot of MBs have been built to get the design community together, but the whole elitist thing naturally began. Some of the newer, less experienced designers were feeling the heat put on by veterans, or sometimes other members that simply thought they were better. The treatment of new people on forums was harsh and difficult, and joining a rather old forum became more and more difficult. These MBs died off quickly and proved to be drama-fests.
It almost makes me think that rounding up a bunch of designers is asking for it. Drama always seems to ensue when a huge number of designers get together, just like when you try to unite all the cliques in highschool. There is always backlash. It goes well for a while, and falls apart due to internal conflict. I’m going to remind everyone of a certain, rather critical and controversial site that collectively discussed the entire community.
And that did not go well.
This mentoring program that Skye suggested might not be the absolute end-all for this problem, but it certainly is the first step to a more welcoming bunch of designers and a dozen more open minds. I myself would be more than happy to mentor someone- and I have many many times before. I’m absolutely proud of those that I have taught in the past and would love to do it again if anyone was willing.
I think about my days as a new designer and how much I would have loved to have someone show me the ropes. I felt very alone and tossed into an unfamiliar world where i didn’t know how everyone would receive me. It’s a terrifying thing, and perhaps that lack of support that these new designers are feeling are causing them to abandon ship. I think that the attitude that I entered when I became a designer stuck with me for the rest of my life, which is why I’m a rather antisocial webmistress.
Even so, I have been first-hand witnessing the change in the attitudes of designers. People these days are so open to everything, and web design is now more of an art form than it ever has been, and this surge of creativity and rule-breaking has been healthy and openly embraced.
Now if we were the same way towards the designers that made them…..
July 16th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I don’t know. I’m still extremely iffy about attempting to even mentor anyone. Just because someone has a few years of experience under their belt, it doesn’t make them a good mentor. I’ll tell you right now I cannot mentor anyone worth squat. I won’t even try it online, as I’ve tried it IRL way too many times already. The only thing I’d be able to do is critique designs, give out coding/designing tips and that’s it. I don’t consider that mentoring though.
Anyway, in terms of why I’ve distanced myself, yes, I’ve been busy…but as you said, we could still attempt to make more time to keep in contact with others. I, for one, keep as much contact with certain people *cough*Kyuu*cough* as often as possible while toward others, I’m just never there. I’ve tried, but I just don’t feel that bond anymore so it fails. If that makes sense.
Quite personally, the reason why I don’t reach out as often is because I don’t particularly feel part of the community. Yes, my site is a design site, but it’s content is focused on all things boys’ love. It’s gotten more accepted as of late, but it’s still not entirely accepted either, which makes me uncomfortable. And, that’s also why every time someone applied for affiliation or whatever else and I decline, I promise a link back on my site but I always let them know they don’t have to link back as my site is more geared toward a more mature audience. Most people will take it as free advertising for them so they don’t link back (which I understand fully, as I said they didn’t have to), but it makes me feel less part of any of the communities…new or old.
July 17th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I think the cliques have to do with interests. I like anime, so I have more to talk to with another anime fan than I would with a TV show fan.
I personally have not seen any rejection towards some of the newer sites and I haven’t seen drama in a long time. But that might just be because I’ve stopped paying attention. I don’t think the older sites intentionally reject other sites, it’s just that it’s easier to keep in touch with people you already know than it is to try to make new friends. And I know that - for me at least - I have a hard enough time keeping in touch with old friends, let alone meeting new people.
Mentoring though… how do you determine what ‘level’ you’re at? Because years in designing doesn’t say anything at all about your skills.
There is, however, this thing that goes around a lot on Livejournal called a “friending meme” where a bunch of people answer a short little questionnaire, and basically people go around and ask to friend people they’ve never met before or have always admired and were too timid to talk to. (This is a really old friending meme from someone’s journal.) We could always start there.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I hope I make sense lol and not change the topic, I tend
to do that.
I never even thought about this. I never even knew it was
an issue till I read this. Maybe it’s because I try to be
as social as possible. I’m not really sure about mentoring
someone. Some people are just really lazy to do that and
sometimes people don’t admit that they need help or
probably wouldn’t have any gratitude. I don’t know why
we need to mentor someone. Aren’t we suppose to be helping
young, fresh, and new designers anyways? I thought that’s
what we do. Correct me if I’m wrong. If someone needs help
they ask for it and if people don’t help, I find that
very rude actually because all the time designers say
either on a layout or somewhere on their site, PLEASE
CONTACT ME IF YOU HAVE NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING, or something
like that. I don’t know. Plus, since most designers
started off by themselves, and had to learn on their own,
it wouldn’t be fair actually. I think it’s better that
new designers learn on their own just like we had to and
if they need any help, they ask for it.
I don’t know what’s going on with people lately. I haven’t
seen any drama as well. I think all the drama is secretive
now or we just don’t have it. Most of the drama, is always
about someone stealing a designers work or code. Maybe
I don’t see it.
I had a few disappointing situations in my time, that’s why
I closed Ensomnia. Everyone was disappointing me, the
people were being completely rude and so disrespectful.
I didn’t think that I needed the pressure, no one does.
I think that’s why some designers are leaving.
This may be ridiculous but I also blame affiliation.
When people apply to be someone’s affiliate and they
get the rejection note, most people would be stubborn
and be like, “I hate there website now!” Stuff like this
slowly pushes us away. Even though affiliation is suppose
to keep us closer.
In the other hand, I don’t give up anymore. I try to help
and be as social as I can. But it’s hard for me to do
so since people don’t want it and I wish that they could
change their attitudes. I remember speaking to this one
designer that I admired. I would give her pointers and
respect. I would try to talk to her on MSN but she was
getting annoyed by me. People like that just separates
our community.
What happened to the love? There’s no more love, that’s
why we’re leaving.
July 20th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
i agree with you, Ellada.
like the saying goes, it takes two to tango, and if we don’t reach out, neither will they.