This post is named appropriately after the anime film depicting the story of two siblings picking up the pieces after a horrible war.
The war that I am discussing in this post it a war that a lot of us remember, and would actually rather not talk about. I’m talking about a certain site with the initials AB.
To make things clear, I am not here to bash this site or create any negativity based on the people that wrote on it or voiced their opinions. People are always entitled to their beliefs. I am merely here to talk about the aftermath of this site and what became of its “targets.”
I’m sure that if you were, in any way involved with the occurances centered around AB, then you were affected in some way. For me, the site at first angered me because they really could get away with what they were doing. They mentioned me a number of times and called me something a bit offensive, and they really really targeted one of my good friends, dragging her into a very difficult part of her life.
The site caused a lot of pain for some of my friends and they handled it as best they could, but as Skye mentioned before, the world of design was split into two over the issue. Some people were in complete agreement to the site, and embraced its willingness to say whatever it wanted to say, even if people’s feelings were thrown into the mix.
For me, I was mostly affected because of how hurt my friends were. I’ve been called every name in the book, so I’m very used to being talked about negatively. I didn’t like seeing the community being split apart, bashed, made fun of, and ridiculed in a fashion that made people look like hyprocrites.
After everything happened, I must say that I now look at the community differently, and I’m not sure if it was for the better. These days, I’m kind of looking behind my back, and scared one day i’ll open up my comments to find something offensive and insensitive. It’s a good thing that this doesn’t happen, but who knows?
It has become a complete internet hobby, however, to ridicule and poke fun of people. Others find it funny because they don’t have to actively participate- witnessing it is entertainment enough.
A few months ago, a video was released on youtube featuring 2 hours worth of a girl being beaten almost to death by a group of kids at a house. It is sick to think of such a thing as being beaten up by a number of people, but it’s even sicker to see its 7 million hits. I personally believe those that enjoyed the video were as bad as those who committed the offense.
I see AB in that way too. A lot of people enjoyed it quite a bit. a lot of people anonymously posted offensive comments but didn’t want to soil their reputations (but they were later dragged out by AB anyway)
But I was not the only one affected by this ordeal- I later found out that many other designers were heavily hit by what happened. After reading this post, I found out how much damage this little site has caused for people, something that I never thought about until I read it. There’s nothing i can do for these people now to change what was said but it’s tragic that a site like AB would have the nerve to do what they did without thinking of others first.
I was wondering who else was affected by this site, and in what way?
July 19th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I can’t say I was affected at all even though I was quite active in a few of those debates. But that’s because I wasn’t a “victim” or emotionally invested in the community. If I had to name one effect, it would be the sides of people that it brought out–the stance they took, the arguments they used, and how they handled a gun to their reputation. I’ve since re-evaluated a few people.
It’s true that AB isn’t innocent in the sense that its opinions were purely objective (if their hitlist was any indication), but a lot of hurt and drama would have been prevented if people didn’t feel the need to jump ship when their (friends’) site was referenced. They were being provocative, yes, but rather than choosing sides either “for” or “against” AB, people should have seen the site for the issues it brought up and not for the examples that were used. E.g. it was ridiculous when people started attacking the host of AB.
But all that is done and over with, and people have changed (though I’m surprised that the memory still haunts people). Those who like web design well enough are still around and that includes many of the major players in the “war”. Those who quit would have quit eventually even if it weren’t for the AB.
July 19th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I’m kind of with Veve on this one. However, I really must admit that I do regret having chosen a side during the whole split. As it stands, I had more friends (or at least friends I was closer to) toward one side and next thing I knew…the whole thing exploded. I don’t really want to make up excuses, but it was all kind of going with the flow and the whole adrenaline rush part of it. If that makes sense.
Because I wasn’t involved emotionally or whatever (although at times, because of some retarded comments I made, I was ridiculed, which I now laugh at), I’d say I’m able to move on a lot faster and not allow these things to affect my views too much. I don’t mind talking about this “war”…I just can’t recall much of it, as I can barely recall what I did last Christmas.
I admit that I’m just about as guilty as AB (or maybe even worse for having chosen a side), but as it is done and over with (and now dead too), perhaps it’s about time we allowed this memory to move on too. As we all continue, I’m sure this memory will come to pass and the damage it dealt the community will also heal over.
What seems to bother me most about the community now is the split between the older generation of designers and the new comers in the design field. The massive gap and elitism there just surprises me.
July 21st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I think AB brought up a lot of really good points. Albeit, they were a little mean with their methods of doing so, but they brought up a lot of things that were true (not making huge layouts, not using small fonts, even the clique thing that’s been mentioned before on this site… just to name a few). I agree with Veve, people should see AB for the things that they brought up, not the examples that they used. Because, examples aside, many of those posts did have pretty good points. (Though some, I have to admit, were just mindless bashing.) You, Angel, even agreed on one of the entries once if I remember correctly (*searches* this one)
As per the whole “Rachel stuck up for me and AB totally beat her up” comment on yoakemae… if I remember correctly, AB commended her for standing up for her friend. They weren’t trying to beat her up; there were just saying that she was being a good friend (albeit, in their own sarcastic way…) and they did stand up for her later when someone went behind her back and gave them her new URL. Sometimes, they were unfair and mean in the way they handled situations and brought up certain sites. But a lot of the times, (especially in the later AB) they did have certain morals and they did respect people for NOT going with the crowd and being a complete ass to others and back-stabbing. On certain occasions, I think they even beat people down for attacking others.
Bottom line, while AB did a lot of really stupid things and did attack a few people, on the whole, I don’t think the community broke up because of them. I think we’ve just moved on, and because we don’t want to admit to ourselves that the community isn’t like it used to be (and I’m not even sure it was that great of a community to begin with, ’cause it was all just cliques before AB anyways, and there was still fighting before AB…)
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:32 am
Mei - Photographic-memory in mind, I gotta correct just one thing. AB actually *did* slag her off - and that was after the “code of honour” post where she handed them Petalscape’s URL. But you’re right about the commendation bit.
Ditto Mei’s comment. Perhaps we should’ve remembered “it’s just sarcasm, filter it” when reading the stuff AB brought up. Unfortunately, as much as we wish for it, sarcasm doesn’t always translate well online. Bearing in mind that this IS the internet, when you read a post on a site, all you’re getting are just words alone. Sure, some words are probably more *cough* expressive than others. But it may take some reading of tonal and facial expression to fully understand the feelings behind the words said. Some may be better than others at reading “hidden expressions”, but there. And there’s also “intent” - why do you say what you say? One can never take the “site’s purpose” blurb too seriously at times - on the other hand, we get cynical when it comes to other designers saying that their site’s “to showcase skills”. Or “to provide for others”.
As it is, we misread or misunderstand people in real life, even with other “hidden” clues for us to read when they talk to us. So what makes us think that we’d know better when online?
I do recall people saying that the AB webmisstresses were different on IM as opposed to their site updates (I didn’t bother talking it out with them in the end) but if you bear that point in mind, I guess my point about “misreading things” stands.
Of course, there are those who psychoanalyse the stuff on screen. And then there are those who definitely can’t use a bit of discretion to read into stuff and end up taking it as-is. (I reckon both these groups would hotly protest against the stuff AB wrote on the site. I should know; at that time, I was of the latter.) However, I’d rather like to think that now, there aren’t many of us who are at the extreme ends of the scale.
I also made the mistake of being one of those that Veve said “jumped ship” and got at the host of AB - behind her back, even. I’m certainly not proud of it, but in the process of clearing things up with her and a few others, I realised we all misread some things or others. I still have the emails saved.
Sheesh, sticks and stones. And I’ll admit, I have ages to go compared to everyone else here - I think I’m still far from the word “mature”. I wasn’t then, and I don’t think I really am now.
August 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Okay honestly, why do you refer to this as a “war”? You, and everyone who was so offended by this certain site, that no one is going to guess because you only put the initials, needs to grow a thicker skin. Cause you know what? Everyone gets criticized. It’s a part of life.
People love to hear others badmouthed. That’s why we gossip, have comedy shows, read celebrity magazines, it’s totally normal and everyone puts up with it. It’s just entertainment, and if it comes at the expense of someone else….well be it.
You and everyone else and being completely overdramatic. I mean what the hell! You can’t blame a loss of interest on one site! It’s just, I can’t believe that you are honestly so worked up about a stupid site, that I for one thought was pretty funny, and made some good points, and blame it for the collapse of the community and all that. It’s a bunch of bullshit! Grow a thicker skin. Learn to take criticism. Stop being so uptight about stupid thing. When someone says something mean, it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you should quit webdesign.
I know I’m starting to repeat myself, but I just, I can’t understand how there are people who get so worked up over something so dumb! And this isn’t directed at anyone specific, instead, everyone it applies to.
August 31st, 2008 at 3:28 am
I agree with erin - learn to actually grow skin. Honestly, AB DID showed a lot of good points even if there were some random bashings here and now.
People learn to take criticisms, and if there are those who can’t take it - it’s their fault. Stop being crybabies and get over with it. If your site is bashed upon, then at least you know the other side of HONEST people. Not suck-ups who go “OMFG, it’s this is the best! You are so amazing!” Of course it might make the web owner feel a bit better about themselves, but it’ll be nice to have someone point out errors at times.
Okay, so Skye was attacked mostly, but they DID point out some stuff that actually got me thinking. Don’t get me wrong here, Skye is a nice person and I love her site.
I honestly don’t think it’s war at all. More like some criticism and how people start to take things offensively. If someone is going to end their friendship with another because of what AB is doing, they just need to FREAKIN GROW UP! Not everyone has the SAME OPINIONS here, ugh. >_>